An Examination Of Teletubbie Technology


The Teletubbie dietary requirements are serviced by one solid foodstuff and one liquid-based food, delivered from two dedicated dispensers. In the complex's operational heyday, these dispensers were capable of creating any food or drink through direct energy-matter conversion. The cataclysmic energies which damaged the dome scrambled the food-prep kernels of the devices, and they are now capable of creating nothing but a round cake-like solid with a smiling face imprinted on it ('Tubbietoast'), and a beverage so loaded with artificial additives that it is as thick as custard, and bright pink. It is this 'Tubbiecustard' which is responsible for many of the Teletubbies' characteristics; dilated pupils, hyperactivity, high metabolic rate, short-term memory loss and permanent goofy grin.

The Teletubbies are also fortunate enough to have a personal servant in the form of a maintenance robot, the Noo Noo. The Noo Noo is a part of the self maintaining strategy of the complex. It is the Noo Noo that is responsible for the 'finished' nappearance of Teletubbieland - the complex was too badly damaged to be fully repaired, but the robot has made the best of a bad job, trimming the severed tunnels down to form straight edges on the doors and windows, and keeping the place in order. Most of the Noo Noo's work now revolves around cleaning up after the Teletubbies.

By far the most interesting technology, though, is that used by the Morlocks - the remnants of humanity's ruling class, hidden in the underground fallout shelters. The house, food dispensers and maintenance bots are the malfunctioning legacies of surface technology which have allowed the Teletubbies to survive. The only new technology apparent in Teletubbieland is in the form of mind-control apparatus.

It is by means of the Tubbietransmitter and the command-and-control speaktubes that the Morlocks exercise their control. We will be examining these devices in detail just as soon as our spies and scientists have completed their respective missions.






Again!